The door slammed open and Ron came in.
"Mail Delivery!" she bawled as she started to go around the table, giving each of us our mail. As she reached my employer, who was starting to hold forth on how many bookings she was hoping to get at other colleges, she said, "Here's your mail, Mom. And you got a package from Grandpa."
She reached into her bag for the package as Jan suddenly stopped in mid-sentence and demanded, "What?"
Ron leaned over and kissed her on the cheek before moving along to me. "Mail for you, too, Dad," she said, handing it to me. "It's your drivers license. No packages today, though." She kissed me on the cheek as well, and then she left, reaching up to knock Pat's baseball cap to the floor as she went.
"'Mom'?" Jan demanded, as if she might have misunderstood, but Ron was already gone.
"Can't you do something about her?" Pat asked, leaning over to pick up her cap.
Jan shook her head and sighed. "Apparently not."
I nodded. "You see? I told you we should have sent her to Catholic school."